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Title of Story
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The Invisibility of Mendax
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Story Summary
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Mendax is painted with a chemical that causes him to become mostly invisible leaving a beard and skeleton. The hot water and reagent to remove it turns him Prussian blue. Similar setup to the Disney movie The Invisible Kid (1988) where the chemical can be washed off with water though the pain is different.
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Attributed Author
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Cox, Erle
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Nationality
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Australian
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Year For Sorting
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1920
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Date Range
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1920-05-29-1920-05-29
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Links in To Be Continued
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NA
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Newspaper Name Location Years
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The Australasian
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OCR from TBC and Trove
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THE STORYTELLER.THE INVISIBILITY OF MENDAX.By ERLE COX.Like my former friend Major Mendax, his housekeeper, Mrs. Verjuice, was a woman of strong character. An impartial judge would have had no difficulty in decid-ing whether she or her employer had the more objectionable characteristics. Any-one who lived in daily association with Men-dax needed a disposition resembling his own in order to exist. He and Mrs. Ver-juice blended as naturally as nitric and sulphuric acid, and at every meeting one or other added the glycerine necessary to form a perfect detonating mixture. It was a household that any sane person would give a good deal to avoid, although it was worth an occasional visit if only to realise how thankful one ought to be that one did not form part of it. Just as the visitor always felt that some woman had a fortu-nate escape in Mendax's being a bachelor, so he felt that no human being, even her husband, would wish to have Mrs. Ver-juice other than a widow.It was the lady who rang me up early on one Sunday morning, and at the first syllable that assaulted my ears I recognised the voice. "Is that you?" came the ques-tion, and from the snap in the tones I judged that things were as usual in the Meudax menage. I admitted that no one but myself was speaking. "Oh! Well you're wanted over here at once, but you'll be a bigger fool than I think you are if you come." The receiver at the other end went on the hook abruptly, and prevented any inquiry into the Sibylline utterance. Even Mendax himself, I thought, could not have issued the invitation less cordially.My first thought was to disregard the mes-sage, but the reflection that Mendax never issued an invitation unless there was some-thing unusual in the wind shook my de-cision, and after a while my curiosity got the better of my injured feelings. Cross-grained to the verge of brutality as he was, I was obliged to admit to myself that I had never visited him without seeing or hearing something that compensated for his almost intolerable manners. For in-stance, as far back as 1898 he had shown me a more nearly perfect aeroplane than any in use at the present time, and I saw him ruthlessly destroy it, on the ground that mankind was murderous enough without his putting worse weapons into their hands. At the outbreak of the great war he had taken me into the country, and, with an instrument small enough to rest on the palm of his hand, I saw him shatter to matchwood an immense red-gum over 1,000 yards away, and afterwards I saw him destroy that instrument as he had destroyed the aeroplane. When once he had suc-ceeded in perfecting an invention he lostall interest in it. His income was immense, and far more than sufficient for his needs, and he would never bother himself to make commercial profit out of his work.When I reached his house the front door was wide open, and no attention was paid to the bell against which I kept my finger pressed. From somewhere in the direction of the laboratory I heard sounds, subdued by closed doors, that indicated that a lively verbal riot was in progress. After hesitat-ing for a while I entered and stood in the vestibule, and as I did so the door of the laboratory at the far end of the passage was flung open. Nothing but sounds issued from it for a few minutes. There came the steady, uninterrupted rattle of Mrs. Ver-juice's file-like tongue, and breaking in on it, and momentarily drowning it, crashed the sound of Mendax's voice. I could tell, although no word was distinguishable in the din, when one of the master's heavy guns got home on his lighter opponent. Her voice seemed to catch for a second, and when it came into action again its note was a shade higher than before. Presently she backed into view, still spitting venom. Her words drifted down the passage. "I works for yer, and I cooks for yer, but I tell yer this, me fine bird, ye'll whistle a queer tune before yer get me rubbin' yerall over with a basin full of nothink. I'm a respectable woman, though no one would believe it that knew I—Old fool yourself, Rub yerself down, yer wicked old devil. Nice goin's on, I must say. Where's my cat with yer unchristen doin's?" Mendax's voice broke in at this moment, and his words, that I couldn't catch, seemed to ruffle the lady's feelings. "You're a grinnin', sneerin', lump of lyin' wickedness" she screamed at the top of her voice, and came hurrying down the passage muttering to herself. She pulled up when she saw me waiting. "Oh; So you did come, did you! More fool you to be humouring that ruffian. Me cat's gone and he swears he don't know where, and that's the fifth cat that's dis-appeared on me since Christmas. Him and his doin's! Why he might be me 'usband by the way he swears at me. Then he asked me to rub him down with a basinful of nothink. Wants a nurse and 'ousekeeperfor five quid a week. I'll let him know.""I'm afraid that Major Mendax's scien-tific work must be rather trying at times,"I said, by way of conciliation. She sniffed openly and with intention. "I'd sooner 'ousekeep for a man with brains in his head instead of pictures of theirselves like some fools I know of." I accepted the im-plication and bowed ceremoniously. Then, head in air, I walked past her down the passage, followed by a well-delivered "Stuck up coxcomb!" from her ladyship.When I entered the laboratory I found Mendax seated in an armchair, robed in a dressing-gown, below which his long, at-tenuated legs protruded. One of his feetwas bare, and the other, sockless, was thrust into a bath slipper. "Just pick up that slipper of mine,will you," he askedwhen he saw me. I found it lying besidethe door and handed it to him. "That old demon," he said as he wriggled his toes into it, "tried my patience too far, and l shied it at her.""Why on earth don't you get rid of the fiend?" I asked, for her manner had some-what ruffled me."Because," he answered, grinning his twisted grin, "she's the only person I ever met who would live under the same roof with me for more than 24 hours, and be-sides," he went on after a moment, "I think I'm the only person in the world who would put up with her for half that time. What was she saying to you? I think you overheard some of her observa-tions to me." He grinned again.I repeated Mrs. Verjuice's remarks with-out dilution. "Hump!" and Mendax laughed outright. "She has got a deadly eye for one's weak points, hasn't she?""Oh!" I said, acidly, "if you wished to call me a fool by proxy it's a wonder you took the trouble to send for me.""Well," he sneered, "since you have brought up the subject, I'll be honest and admit that there was no one else to send for. However, don't let that worry you, as the service I wish from you does not require a vast amount of intelligence. Honesty, my dear idiot, is what I require in this case, and I have reason to know that you possess that attribute."I eyed him with no friendly glance. "Look here, Mendax, if you start being complimentary you'll strain something. Your system's not used to it.""Well you are honest, are you not?"There was something in his voice that seemed to bracket the virtue with imbeci-lity. I swallowed hard. "If you want me to help you in any way, you had better try, for the time being, to be less of a beast than usual, or you'll do without my assist-ance." I will say this for him, that he never resented being spoken to as he spoke to others."Very well," he answered, coolly, "goif you like, but if you do you'll miss see-ing something you'll never forget." Foronce, as it turned out, he spoke a mighty truth."All right," I answered, irritably, "come to the point then, and don't let us stay here snarling all day.""Good!" He waved his hand towards a chair, which I took. "Tell me, have you ever read Wells's "Invisible Man"?I nodded. "I remember reading it when it came out.""Wells," went on Mendax, "is, I think, the only one of your scribbling gang who ever showed a grain of sense.""Thanks," I answered with cold polite-ness; "for myself and a few thousand others."He disregarded the inerrruption. "Wells gave me the idea, and I found it absolutely practicable. I've proved it."I sat up straight. "Do you mean to tellme—""Precisely," he went on "and that is why I sent for you. The honesty that I require of you is that you keep your mouth shut.""Pooh!" I said, "no need of that; no one would believe me if I told.""Just so," he nodded; "I was relying to some extent on that factor also.""But look here, Mendax," I protested, "what's the good of it anyway? It would be no practical use to humanity if people could make themselves invisible, and be-sides it would be a devil-sent aid to cri-minals." "Your argument is perfect," he an-swered. "Wells's man came to grief, but ——" he paused, "I shall not. And I in-tend that no one but myself shall know the secret.""But what good can you make of it?" I persisted."I intend to benefit humanity. A man protected by invisibility and speaking every European language, as I do, can penetrate the most secret councils of the statesmen of the world. I intend to do this, and then publish the rotten intrigues of every chan-cellery in Europe, side by side with their public utterances. I'll publish the book simultaneously in every country in Europe and America, and the people will be so pleased that they will kick every plotting ruffian out of power, and run the show themselves. It will be the end of war.""It looks to me, Mendax," I said, when he had finished, "like a morbid bid for popularity with the diplomatic corps. They will be delighted with your programme.""Just so," he grinned; "Love of popu-larity was always my weak point. I looked, him over for a while doubtfully, for I knew from experience that if he said he could do a thing he would do it. Then, "How do you start fading away?" I asked.He got up and went to a bench on which stood two large basins, one of which was covered with a board. I stood up andwalked over to him. "That," he said, point-ing to the uncovered one, "is full of water. Lift it!" I did so, and looked to him for enlightenment. "And this"—here he took the cover from the second basin—"It's empty," I interrupted.That's just where you make the mis-take, my dear fool," he snarled."I'm not blind," I said, "Unless you mean it's full of air.""I mean nothing of the kind," he said shortly. "Lift it too, but gently, or there'llbe trouble."I took the basin in both hands and raised it carefully. It weighed rather more than the one full of water. The sensation was curious. "Now perhaps you have a glim-mering of understanding?" he asked sourly. "I'm shot if I have," I retorted."Might have known it" he grunted,"Well my dear, wise, intelligent being, that basin is full of fluid that is invisible, and I have sent for you with the express purpose of asking you to bathe or anoint me all over with that particular fluid to com-plete the experiment."Enlightenment of several kinds came to me. "By jove! Mendax," I laughed, "did you ask Mrs. Verjuice——""I did" he cut in, "and discovered that to her many other vices she added prudery." I knew that in the cause of science he held that any action was justifiable, and that he was utterly incapable of understand-ing the good lady's point of view."So that" I said, "accounts for her re-marks about a basin full of nothink. Per-haps it accounts, too, for the discussion I heard when I came in?""Pooh!" he answered, "The old harridan must be 60 if she's a day. Enough to make one sick to hear her carrying on like a school-girl.""Did you tell her that?" I asked."That and a few other things," he re-plied, dismissing the subject. "Will you do it, or are you too shy?""As you please," I answered, "It's your funeral. I suppose you've weighed the prosand cons."He went to a drawer and produced a pair of gardening gloves and a gossamer veil."Better put these on," he said; "If you get any of that stuff splashed on you you'lllook rather unusual."It isn't often I agree with Mendax, but I did on this point."Now," he said when I had donned the armour, "take this brush and get to work. It must be done quickly. Start on the head and work down. The stuff will take effect as soon as it dries.""How am I to see what I'm doing?" I asked. "I may paint you patchy.""Use your brains, man. You'll have to do it by touch. I can help. That stuff's a cold fluid, and I can feel if you miss anything." He was throwing off his garments as he spoke, and in a few seconds stood ready for the fray. Mendax is built on most perfect gaspipe lines. He is about six feet four tall,and not much more than 12 inches through anywhere. I doubt whether nature ever turned out a less graceful specimen from her workshops. I must confess I was burning with curiosity as to the result of the experi-ment, and since he was prepared to undergo the operation I was prepared to performit.With Apollo standing in front of me, I dipped the brush into the apparently empty basin. An odour more evil than any-thing that had ever before offended my nostrils sent me back gasping for breath. "Holy wars! What are you gaping at?" he asked savagely, "get to work man. I'm cold.""Gaping!" I retorted. "Is that the per-fume of the unseen fluid or of an unseen dead cat—Mrs. Verjuice's for instance?""It's just the fumes you can notice when you stir it up,", he replied. I found that there was more in my painting contract than I had bargained for; but if Mendax was content to be decorated with the con-centrated odour of ancient eggs, who was I that I should say him nay? So, taking my nose and my courage in one hand and the brush in the other, I set to.It was a weird proceeding. I could feel the fluid in the basin, and could almost see its flamboyant odour, but it left no trace on the shrimp-pink hide of Mendax, and when I rubbed it into his hair it gave no appearance of moisture. Indeed, during the whole operation I was guided almost entirely by his language, and that, to use a colloquialism, was "no violets." It ap-peared from his comments that the brush tickled, and that the mixture was cold. Though he minded these troubles less than my amazing clumsiness, I learned, amongst other things, during the few minutes I worked, that I was not competent to white-wash a fowlhouse and that for delicacy of touch I compared unfavourably with a rhinoceros. However, when at last I grabbed his ankles and carefully painted the soles of his feet he was satisfied that I had completed my task thoroughly, if not skilfully.It was a relief to stand back a few yards from the amazing stench and wait further developments. "None of your beauties seem to have evaporated," I said, pulling off my veil and pressing my hand-kerchief to my nose."Wait a jiff," he answered, supercili-ously; "it will dry in a moment or two, and then you will see something, or rather you will see nothing."I watched carefully, for truth to tell, though I had seen Mendax perform someamazing scientific stunts, I had my doubts about this one, and I was considerably more than half convinced that he was rid-ing for a fall. Presently I gave a gasp of amazement; his ears, which were his least beautiful feature, grew suddenly shadowy and faded from sight, and were followedinto nothingness almost immediately by his nose. I not thought it possible thatanything could disfigure Mendax's face, but the absence of his three most salient features worked fearsome havoc with his appearance. I choked back a wild desire to laugh, and a moment later the desire for laughter vanished with the rest of the scientist's features. In a space of time less than it takes to write these lines his face faded. In a few moments more the out-line of his body blurred and disappeared. Within a minute from the time his ears had melted into thin air all that was visi-ble of Mendax was the skeleton that had supported his ungainly body. Not allthough, for the sandy hair and the stragglymoustache remained, and, although they toned down the crudeness of Mendax in the flesh, they added nothing to the beauty of his skeleton. I suppose my feelings were visible in my face; out I almost yelled with the nervous jolt I got when the bony jaw commenced to wag and the voice ofMendax came from the fleshless mouth. "What on earth are you glaring at? Didn't I warn you what would happen?" There was a note of triumph in his voice."Look at yourself! Look at yourself!" was all I could get out.The skull bent forward on the bony neck; then the hands were held before the eyeless sockets. "Great Scott! Mendax," I gasped. "Suppose, the bones won't disap-pear. What will you do?" "Look almost a bigger fool than you do," he retorted. He reached out a bony right hand, and clutched the brush I had put down, and began rubbing more of the mixture vigor-ously on his left arm, but rub as he would the polished white bones only showed out more clearly. He flung the brush asidewith a blistering explicitive, and com-menced to stride up and down the labora-tory. Now, it has fallen to my lot to see many skeletons, and it had never occurred to me that there was anything objectionable about the human framework divested of its flesh; but the original owners of all the skeletons I had come into contact with had ceased to have any use for them, and,moreover, their bones would "stay put," so to speak. But the sight of an over-sized set of fully articulated human bones in active motion was quite another thing, even though one knew that the original owner was in full possession. My nerves are as good as the man's. But I am free to admit that I found the spectacle disquieting, to put it mildly.Try to imagine that portent striding furi-ously from end to end of the great labora-tory, waving its arms, and tugging at its amazing moustache with its bony fingers, and all the time pouring out language. Thethings that Mendax. said about H. G. Wells during the five or ten minutes were both original and remarkable. He commenced with simple slanders that were not worth much more than ordinary dam-ages, but it was not long before he wasgonig strong with compound criminal libel.I just stood and gaped; but for the timebeing he took no notice of me. I said no-thing, for the situation was beyond words, besides, big as the laboratory was, there was no room in it for any remarks of mine; Mendax filled it, completely. I could only judge his feelings by his move-ments and his language, for I never real-ised until then how absolutely devoid of expression the human countenance is when bereft of its surrounding meat. If a man could only divest himself of the outside covering of his face at will, it would be a great boon to poker players.Then I noticed an alteration in the be-haviour of the raging spectacle, his steps became uncertain and his language faltered. Though what there was left of it lost noth-ing in force, an entirely new note crept into it, but it could hardly be called an improve-ment. Presently I gathered sufficient cour-age to inquire the cause, and for the firsttime since Mendax had started his career as a skeleton he deigned to notice my exist-ence. He came to a halt before me, and then, though he remained in one spot, he certainly went through some surprising contortions. His hands made wild passes all over his unseen body, and at times he tried to reach over his shoulders to claw atthe middle of his back. Shorn of unneces-sary verbiage, hie statement was to the effect that the fluid, since it had dried, had commenced to sting and smart in an en-tirely unforseen manner, and I think, from his procedure, that the irritation increased rapidly in intensity. He did not know whether the effect would pass off or whether it would increase, meanwhile his wriggles would have been highly diverting had they arisen from any other cause.Then I asked if there were no reagent that would counteract the sting, and gathered that though he knew of one, forsome reason or other which he was dis-inclined to give, Mendax did not wish touse it.The 15 minutes were interesting to look back on afterwards, but at the time I found intimate association with a half-demented skeleton rather trying. At length, after prancing and clawing wildly at himself, his endurance gave way, and he howled to me to call Mrs. Verjuice. Won-dering what effect Mendax would have on that lady I went to the door and bellowed her name down the passage, and a moment later she appeared. Now, while there was nothing in his appearance to shock the most modest of women, there was enough to try the strongest nerves, and I expected developments. Mendax pranced up to her, squirming as he came; "Get a bucket of hot water. Hurry! Don't stand gaping!" he shouted. Mrs. Verjuice ejaculated "Lor!" and stared at all that was visible of her employer with wide-eyed astonish-ment for a few moments. Then she turned to me. Nodding her head in the direction of the portent, she said, "Is that him?""Yes," I answered, "there has been a slight accident and he is in pain. Bring hot water quickly." In-stead of obeying, that graceless woman leaned against the doorpost and commenced to giggle, and from giggling went off into afit of uncharitable mirth. Let me put iton record that I s hard with my feel-ings, but, I admit with regret, I joined in her laughter, while Mendax stormed at us. "Get hot water, you old idiot" he yelled, "can't you see I'm in pain. My skin'sburning.""Pain! Pain in yer skin!" gasped Mrs. Verjuice. "Why yer couldn't even have a pain in yer stummick. Yer haven't got none," and she relapsed into helpless cackles. Then suddenly she remembered her latest griev-ance, and pulled herself together and faced him. "It's hot water yer wanting.Well, not a drop do yer get till yer tell me where me cat is—Not a drop!" and sheshook an unclean finger before the gibberingskull. In swift, clear-clt phrases Mendax described both his persecutor and her cat as they appeared to him at the moment, andthen disclosed that puss was in a box at the end of the room, and was alive and well. What scientific end had been reserved for the unfortunate animal it is just as well not to speculate. Mrs. Verjuice trotted to the box and raised the lid, and out shot her pet.Tom seemed excited about something, for he eluded his mistress, and made endeavours to climb on several cabinets without much success. Then, not having human intelli-gence, puss tried to climb Mendax. Per-haps he mistook the scientist's framework for a new kind of tree. He was partially successful in this endeavour; indeed he managed to claw more than half-way upbefore Mendax flung him off, with remarks appropriate to the occasion. Unfortunately the flying body of the feline struck the bench that held the basins, and upset the one "full of nothink." I was standing fairly close to the bench at the time, butdid not recollect until afterwards that I felt something strike against my legs as it fell.Tom bounced off the bench and made for the door. By this time Mendax was in a state bordering on dementia, and Mrs. Ver-juice evidently realised that he was in no condition for a debate on the subject, andfollowed her cat, returning in a few minutes with a bucket of hot water. With frantic haste the dancing skeleton seized on various bottles and jars from his shelves, and measured out, with bony fin-gers that shook, quantities of chemicals that he dashed into the bucket, and I stirred the mixture furiously, spurred on by the tongue that scarcely ceased for a moment.Finally he flung himself on the floor, andbade me get to work with the mixture from the bucket. To me chemistry is a sealed book, but I never cease to marvel at itspowers. I had ample reason to marvel now, for with the first smear of the steaming concoction on his chest the vanished ana-tomy of Mendax commenced to reappear. As I proceeded with my task it became more and more difficult to conceal my feel-ings, for I understood now why Mendax had hesitated to use the only reagent that would counteract the invisible fluid. In-stead of the pinky white skin that had dis-appeared, the new Mendax showed blue— not sky-blue, or any of the finer shades ofthe most beautiful of colours, but that cross a between indigo and slate grey, known asPrussian blue. I think if I were choosing a new colour for my body Prussian blue would be the last that would enter mymind. It did not suit Mendax. Even thetints which Nature had given him could not make him handsome, but his new colour-scheme was atrocious beyond words. That my ministrations gave him relief from pain was the only consolation I could find, and I prayed that my desire to laugh would notget the upper hand, but it did eventually, when, my work being completed, he donned his dressing-gown and slippers and subsided into a chair.I think his explanation alone saved me from punishment, for as I laughed he merely sat still in his chair and glowered, saying no word. Once or twice a twisted grin appeared on his face, and he appeared about to speak, but changed his mind.At length I found sufficient gravity to in-quire how long he would remain dis-coloured, and he broke the grim silence by remarking that he had not the slightest idea, but he supposed that the blue wouldwork off in time. His one trouble was thathe had an important engagement for the fol-lowing evening, which he would be obliged to cancel; as for my giggling, only a mind ofmy calibre would see anything humorous in a perfectly natural chemical reaction. Evenmy suggestion that he could break his en-gagement by pleading that he was feelingsomewhat blue failed to draw him, so I left him to his own devices. My house is about half a mile from that of Mendax, and while I made my way home-ward the recollection of the morning's pro-ceedings cheered me as I went, until Icommenced to meet folk on their way from church. The first was the mother of a cer-tain young lady—well, never mind; but that matron, who usually greeted me so charmingly, gave one stony glare and cut me dead. The shock sobered me somewhat, but the unrestrained mirth of the couple that passed me caused me to takestock of my appearance. Then I recollec-ted the splash of the basin "full of no-think," and the twisted grin of Mendax. Down to my knees I could claim to be a well-dressed citizen; below them my legs were inadequately covered by a fringe ofragged trouser ends, and my feet were dis-played by patches of leather that appearedto hold in place only by a miracle. Theremainder of that walk was one of the mostunhappy experiences of my life. I thinkI met everyone in the neighbourhood with whom I was acquainted, and each oneseemed more amused than pleased to see me.Be it remembered that I had won, not un-justly, the reputation of being the local dandy. To explain that I was as well and truly clothed as themselves, only part of my clothing was invisible, was obviouslyimpossible, so I skurried on and reached the sanctuary of my roof with burning cheeks, and fury in my heart. I hadscarcely entered my door when the tele-phone bell rang. I snatched up the re-ceiver. "Say, old man," came the grating voice of Mendax, "did you meet anyone on the way home? Lf you hadn't been so funny I'd—." I slammed the receiver on the hook. I'd had enough of Mendax for one day.
